While I was in the check out lane at Target, I was behind two women. Both had long hair and long skirts like you might see in some religious groups. The first lady finished paying for her groceries and waited for the second lady. Lady #2 was telling her friend about how she was going to use her gift card to buy some children’s clothes. Lady #1 told her “Make sure you put the clothes at the back so you can keep the groceries separate from the clothes on the receipt.”
Here’s what went through my mind: maybe they’re sister wives?
I bet that second lady is the newest wife and the first one is telling her how they do things.
Lady #2 proceeded to put economy-sized cans of green and baked beans on the conveyor belt.
Yeah, I bet they have a shitload of kids.
Lady #1 told lady #2 “I bought red Gatorade.” Lady #2 answered, “Oh good, I bought the blue.”
Yes. Definitely sister wives.
Then I thought: wait, this is silly. I don’t think there are really that many Mormons in Oklahoma and there certainly can’t be very many polygamists. This is just not that plausible. So instead I thought: I bet they’re traveling. I bet they’re just passing through Oklahoma. Being the rational person that I am, I thought it more likely that these women were part of a band of traveling polygamists. I will go ahead and apologize now for my use of the phrase “band of polygamists”, but I’m really not sure what the appropriate term is here. I’m going to venture that there aren’t a lot of polygamists reading my blog anyway.
They continued to load up their groceries and I continued to daydream about this family of sister wives and their gajillion kids.
Then Lady #2 put Dr. Pepper on the conveyor belt.
Well, that settles it. They can’t be a traveling group of polygamist because Mormons don’t drink caffeine.
Sigh. Sometimes I worry about myself.